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Lego bricks are generally awesome, and by all accounts The Lego Movi e, opening this weekend, is as well. So we thought we'd make sure the folks at Lego didn't get too full of themselves by reminding the world of the worst toys, figures and building sets they've unleashed upon the world. Warning: Construction ahead. I have no idea what possessed a single Lego engineer to create this cast-off from the Island of Dr.

Moreau, let What i remember most about legos what made the company release it on an unsuspecting world. Or why they thought the two white round bricks underneath the nose-piece would represent two buck teeth and not some kind of abnormal growth. All I know is that all of these decisions were made in hate and fury. I put this is in quotes, because as you can see, while Lego assures us that this set is of a fire truck, it clearly looks nothing like a fire truck. Oh, it's red, and it is a vehicle, but that's pretty much where the similarities stop.

And what good is a completely bizarre fire truck without an equally bizarre fire chief? Admittedly, this fire chief is too good to ride on the truck with his peons, and has his What i remember most about legos mini-vehicle, without doors or even sides, to travel on. He also has his own little hose for… little fires? When he's out fighting fires by himself?

Because all the other Lego firemen think he's a dick? Call me crazy, but I think I'm got a pretty good idea how the robber could break into this bank. Or out, I guess. Are those ATMs?

Are they behind the bars or in front of them? Is What i remember most about legos guy trying to break into to access an ATM, or is he trying to get the endless void on the other side? In either case, this thing sucks. Back inLego created Fabuland, What i remember most about legos line full of anthropomorphic animals, as sort of an intermediary set between Duplos and Legos.

They're kind of terrifying, like if Hunter S. Thompson had designed a toddler's Lego line while high on mescaline. What What i remember most about legos of monsters would listen to a band consisting of nothing but a drummer and tuba player? Yes, now you can recreate the thrilling action of Luke Skywalker's final duel with Darth Vader and the Emperor by… watching him walk down the hallway to his final duel with Darth Vader and the Emperor?

As long as he walks no more than four steps, because that's all the hallway included. InLego introduced their K'nex-like building sets called Znap, because Zs make everything cooler. Indeed, the line wasn't overall bad — most of the kits looked all right, an they had crazy things like a Dino-Jet a giant ant along with the hover-subs and other vehicles.

Which makes this piece of crap — which Lego tried to pass off as a "Jet-Car" — even more obnoxious. Remember back in the early '00s, when Lego started trying to make sports games out of Legos? One of the earliest catastrophes was the NHL Slammer Stadium, in which sentient giant head statues from Easter Island played a rousing game of hockey. But what's worse is the rink itself — a flimsy cardboard rink, surrounded by an even flimsier wall.

If only Lego has some kind of more durable building material to work with! Another Fabuland set, obviously, begging a very disturbing question: Where does Clara get the milk to make the ice cream? Well before Lego Friends, Lego tried to reach girls with Belville set, a series which focused more on figures and playsets more than construction. The problem was the figures were godawful and the sets were a weird mix What i remember most about legos fairy tale stuff and standard, mundane doll activities.

But once Lego exhausted the traditional beauty salons and stables, they threw together this — sure, an interior designer is a pretty progressive progression for a doll to have in the '90s, but it kind of undercuts the message when her design equipment consists of a stand-alone sink, a bathtub the hell? If you can think of a sadder image than a girl trying to brush her ugly, tiny doll's plastic hair helmet, please let me know.

If Artoo had a skeleton, this is what it would look like. Lego couldn't be bothered to make a single piece that would prevent him What i remember most about legos essentially being see-through. Does no one at Lego know what a goddamn firetruck looks like? Or an SUV, for that matter?

InLego had big plans for a new toyline call Galidor. They were so confident that they ordered a CG cartoon and had it on the air, about two teens named Nick and Allegra who are transported to an alien world threatened by evil aliens. It didn't do well at all, and I'm confident it wasn''t helped by this promotional figure of Nick, which looked like Chinese bootleg toy assembled by the blind and then stuck in a microwave for a while.

Nick here Adult bush funny joke president really Prince Justin look like Ryan Gosling. Peter Pig has murdered the sentient Turkey man of Fabuland and eaten him, or at least plans to. The A. Rob Bricken. Filed to: superlist. Share This Story.


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